caren reads.


Undone - Shannon Richard This book had potential, it really did. I think I could have liked it, because I enjoyed the characters (especially Brendan). I even didn't mind the story (although there wasn't much conflict) But the complete lack of editing made it nearly unreadable. Here are just a few examples:He pulled out a couple of disks to see whom she listened tohe flipped a page and peaked over at Brendan."Hey," Oliver said as he flipped a page and peaked over at Brendan.She pulled the yellow curtains to the side and peaked out the windowa pair of baby-blue pajama shorts that just peaked out underneath it.I fell off my bike and scrapped my knees."So you're present, you can't exactly unwrap," he said, standing up.A fresh does of anger flared up in Brendon.Brendon pulled Paige to her feet and they walked over to where Grace and Jax where.And it wasn't just the committing of every grammar law there is, there was also the fact that almost every single line of dialogue had a tag! Authors, you don't need a tag for every line of dialogue. You just don't, okay? It was so bad here that I just started skimming to get through it. It's interesting to look at the numbers, though:he/she said: 692Paige said: 166Brendan said: 127The word 'said' appears 1,427 times!!!! That's just... I can't even comprehend how that slips past an editor. Ever. Oh, and there's also these: He/she whispered: 59He/she asked: 440. . .With several rounds of editing, this book could probably make it on my recommendation list, but in its current state...that won't be happening.

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